The life changing miracle of hearing aids

I can see him now, my mother’s Dad, ‘Pop’, as everyone called him, bending towards me. I’m kneeling on the floor bellowing into his ear, telling him about my day at school. Pop had had a hard life working in Cardiff docks where, in those days, before anyone thought seriously about health and safety, his hearing had been destroyed by noise. The only way you could communicate with Pop was by shouting. Over the years, he found that he could no longer hear his own voice, so his own decibel level had risen. Result: isolation, people talking about him behind his back, inability to join family conversations, embarrassment all round.

Then there was my Dad, His hearing slowly deteriorated. He had large clumsy hearing aids with an external battery. Of course he hated them. Mostly they were unused. Result: social isolation and a refusal to reconsider when neater and more effective aids became available.

I developed tinnitus in my late forties, then progressive hearing loss. Alas, here was a later version of the same scenarios. My then colleagues, all people who prided themselves on their tolerance and kindness, thought nothing of making ‘jokes’ about my mis-hearings or the way I answered questions that had not been asked. Some became irritable when I asked them to say something again. In my work as a coach, I found myself covertly drawing the chairs closer because with women clients who had soft voices, I just could not hear them. As so many others do, I avoided acknowledging that I needed professional help.

Then, an understanding friend recommended the Mills and McKinney practice. What a relief. Here I found immediate empathy, skilled testing and excellent advice. I chose Widex wholly-in-canal aids. That was when I fully realised how seriously I had been fooling myself about how well I could hear - and understood the transformative impact of high-quality modern hearing technology. I’m also aware that this is the only reason I have been able to continue the work I love, well beyond the conventional retirement age. It enables me to coach one-to-one, to speak confidently at conferences and even to facilitate complex group discussions – none of which would be possible without it. In noisy restaurants I often follow the conversation better than people with normal hearing. I enjoy the theatre. I go to concerts.

A few months ago, it was once more time to review. I wanted a rechargeable option and chose Phonak, again wholly-in-canal. They are amazing. I love them.

Today I am an enthusiastic advocate for help with hearing loss. I do understand why so many people resist. I was working with one of my long-standing executive clients, discussing how she would prepare for a job interview. I innocently asked how she proposed to wear her impressive mop of long curly hair for the interview. She gave me a little smile and without saying a word, swept back her hair to reveal behind-the-ear aids. ‘No-one at work knows,’ she said. ‘Stigma about “deafness” is alive and well!’ A friend never wears his aids. He is only 48 and has lost all his hair so, unlike that client, there is no way to hide them. ‘I think I’d look ten years older if I wore them’ he says, stubbornly refusing to accept that by avoiding them, he is putting his job at risk as well as the daily strain of ‘listening effort’ that, as I know all too well, can be associated with hearing loss. Another friend also refuses to wear her aids. She said, ‘My hearing isn’t that bad’ during a conversation in which I watched her steadily drop out of the conversation in a busy restaurant.

Don’t delay. Get your hearing tested. Take advantage of the wonderful improvements that have made current hearing aids so amazing where they will adjust to all kinds of environments on their own!  Defy the stigma. So what, you need help with your hearing?  So do about 35% of the population over 60. So what, there are things in your ears, but then doesn’t everyone have things in their ears these days?

How I wish that Pop and my Dad could have benefitted from all these improvements. During the fifteen years I have been a user I have seen for myself how each version has been a striking advance on its predecessor. And there will be more to come. Bring it on!

Jenny Rogers, author and executive coach

www.JennyRogersCoaching.com